Wednesday, 17 February 2010

The Invisible Book

It's invisible because it's in my head.
It's in my head because the dirty dishes and laundry folding are outside my head.
My invisible book has a lovely front cover, contents, bad photo of the author on the back. ISBN code. Even a couple of bad reviews about it online.
But you can't read it. Because it's invisible.
That's not the only thing invisible in my head. I also have an invisible etsy shop of all my papier mache bowls, pendants, art prints, crocheted brooches.
I have an invisible illustrated collection of my poetry.
I have an art exhibition of all my collages and mixed media pieces. But guess what? It's invisible.

I am on the verge of becoming invisible myself if I don't learn how to turn away from the very visible reality of chores, bills, worries, distractions, stressed out for not having time, then feeling guilty for having time,then feeling guilty again for not using that time constructively, and then waking up the next day with lots more guilt for whatever comes to mind. Fun fun fun.

It's more than just a kick up the rear end, I need. It's the fact that I have a book with bad reviews, a shop with things that perhaps three people might like, and all sorts of other wierd and wonderful things taking up residence in my body, and whether or not this is okay by me.

It clearly isn't.
I'm going to open that awful etsy shop and write a book that nobody wants to read.And make Isaac laugh by dancing to Blondie on VH1.
(I do the latter already)
After all, if I can write a blog for this long, then I know i can give it a shot.
I just have to stop convincing myself that my day to day life won't fall apart just because i have a pen and paper in front of me. And accept that I will never be able to get dressed nicely either.

Back to work next week. Eek.
But I have a feeling this will suddenly make that invisible book in my head feel alot heavier. Along with everything else up there.
I'll have no option but to get them out.

Will keep you posted on my very random burst of motivation.

Heres a picture of Mr Giant Cheeks.

Have a lovely day!


Shawn said...

Your invisibility is becoming clearer. Focus on the manifistation and we both shall understand better what would show up in your etsty shop. Bravo on a charmed existence, invisiible or not.

khairun said...

Thankyou for stopping by, and for leaving a rather lovely comment.Very much appreciated.

Flower Girl said...

Oh my my my. I completely understand! I have an invisible etsy shop and an invisible art show too!!! And an entire guest bed COVERED in unfolded laundry that is more real than I can tell you. ugh the guilt. I called in the troops for an extra cleaning yesterday and just shelled out happily for it. it was soooo worth it.
I can't wait to hear how getting back to work is. don't go forgetting us when you get busy. It might take a few weeks but you'll get the swing of it all.
Love that you're still doing your art!

Nats@Hina's Apprentice said...

You've got a lot of 'Catholic guilt' for a Muslim Lisboan/Londoner lol.
Laugh a little, a lot. We've all got those 'invisibles' in life. Don't put such a negative on things that are yet to be- I'm not down-playing the courage, time, skill & determination it takes to have that art show, etsy shop, best-selling book but as long as you have a tribe of people who support and love your work (which you do/will) you'll overcome the hurdles. I agree with Shawn in that you should 'focus on the manifestation'.I struggle with the same demons! You will indeed make those things a reality Khai... while being nicely dressed! x

shelley said...

i just received a wonderful book in the mail by a friend who is an artist and (home-schooling!) mother of five; it's called "The Artistic Mother, A Practical Guide for Fitting Creativity into Your Life". my friend's name is Shona Cole, and if ever there was a Wonder Woman, she is it. the book is incredibly inspirational, i just finished it last night. you CAN be an artist and a mom at the same time... it just takes some skill and a little planning.
the book is available here on amazon, i think it will be out in europe in the next few weeks, take a peek, i think you might really love it.

khairun said...

Thanks Shelley. I may have heard of your friend at some point during one of my blog hopping sessions. I will definately have a peek.

Thanks again

Nats, I guess i should make more use of my Buddhist tendencies. Im sure that would tame the Catholic in me!
I dressed well today! In homage to my unfolding -style statement- which will be revealed in good time...