A new year is approaching

I'm feeling alittle overwhelmed by the number of tasks I've set myself. I haven't been creatively productive at all over the last few weeks or so, and I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself as the annual flu, Christmas period,and the penny counting that came with it have all been a serious distraction.
I had a muslim upbringing so Christmas trees and turkeys were something I only saw on T.V or heard my friends talk about in the weeks leading up to the holidays. Now though, having married a man who has countless childhood memories centred around Christmas trees and the endless supply of socks from his grandparents, I know that this will be a part of my life and our future familys life. This year I had a small get together with Mr T's brother, his wife and their adorable children. Spending time with his side of the family is really meaningful to me as it gives me the chance to make connections with not just his family but another way of life totally different to what I had. And being away from my own at this time of the year can be hard. There may not have been a christmas tree but it was a holiday nevertheless and I have lots of fond memories of being at home with my brothers and sisters watching the Queens speech or 'The Snowman' which was a lovely animated childrens story.
I hope that for 2009 I can stay on board creatively. I plan on reading alot more, and scheduling more time to spend it in my studio without the usual technological distractions. I want to find a balance between my love of writing and drawing. I've always wanted to do illustrations of poems or stories, so let's see what I can come up with.

Over the last six months I've learnt to shut out or at least switch off whenever I sense too many negative vibes around me. At times it's worse when the negativity comes from me and then there are times when its the opinions of others that can throw me off. I find that negativity overall can be quite unnerving and mentally draining. It can rear its ugly head in the most unassuming of situations. For me almost any conversation where opinions about another person are exchanged is a negative experience for me. Because I think about how I would feel if my life was being 'discussed' by people who clearly don't know anything about me. Pretty damn angry of course. Then there are the opinions indirect or otherwise, on how you choose to live your life. It distracts me and makes the critical side of me voice itself much clearer. You think you're really clever Khairun, you need to live in the real world, you want to be perfect but who are you trying to convince?Having support and encouragement can be quite hard to come by, especially when we live in an age where it's often considered unrealistic to be optimistic, and when everyday worries cloud a well-judged approach to lifes obstacles. I find myself getting dragged down by it. But luckily for me it only takes a word of encouragement from Mr T or from a dear friend and I pick myself up again. Why shouldn't I want to feel amazing and fabulous? What's wrong with wanting to harbour positive feelings through the right people environment and attitude? As you can see I don't like to let the critical side of me hang around uninvited for too long.

So to all the lovely people out there who have a soft spot for optimism and all round cheefulness, I wish you nothing but great things for 2009.

Sick as a parrot

I have been lumbered with this horrid cold, its abit like being shackled by a ball and chain. I have no energy and my dreams of domestic bliss are flying away. The kitchens a mess! So Ive been seeking refuge in our bedroom, with my laptop, lemon tea and plenty of hankies by my side. In the meantime, let me take this opportunity to wish you all a lovely christmas! Lots of festive fun for all, and in my case, lots of festive sneezing!

The Belêm Botanical Gardens

I've taken a couple of days off work. We were originally supposed to spend three days in Brussels with friends of Mr T. But our hopes were dashed when the special flight prices being offered at Ryannair doubled. I guess it was all too special to be true. A good festive bargain turned into a "Bah-Humbug!" moment. Anyway, we decided to spend it by doing absolutely nothing. Just late morning tea and toast, our first sip of mocha latte at the new Starbucks close to our neighbourhood (I know..shame on me, I shall do the necessary penitence by drinking lots of coffee in a little place on top of a mountain somewhere with goats and some nice old ladies..)and a stroll in the botanical gardens in Belêm. It was lovely.

( as a result of all that fresh breeze as I pranced about in the gardens without wearing a scarf, I woke up with a stinking cold..."Bah-Humbug!")

Out with the straighteners and in with the curls!

Well I haven't quite thrown them out. I've just tucked them away in a place where I can't see them.
It's my little sisters birthday today (Happy 24th Birthday!). As I'm writing this, she's probably in the throes of severe jetlag. This time yesterday she was in a little village in Bangladesh spending time with my parents and my grandmother. My dear granny has never left the village let alone the country and my parents, who are both retired, spend half the year out there and the other half at home in North London. I wish I had gone along with my sis; the last time I went there and saw my granny was a whopping 10 years ago. You know,life has a not-so-funny way of flying by with all sorts of distractions, obstacles and excuses.

So this is a much needed note to self:make more time for family! Since I have a sister in Florida; a brother in Abu Dhabi; my grandmother in Bangladesh and cousins in Canada; I have lots of beautiful places to visit and not a single dodgy hotel to whinge about

I've noticed There are things about me I haven't talked about on this blog (except my penchant for hair destroying straightening irons) and since I still haven't got my doll ready for its big reveal, why not do a list of Khairun facts? I love reading the lists of other bloggers so I'm going to join the parade.

1. I am extremely shy
2. I have a habit of saying "really?".
3. Half way through a conversation with more than one person I display my extraordinary listening skills by saying; "Sorry-what was that?".
4. I get easily distracted. By everything. As shown in 3. And as shown by making lists for no particular reason.
5. I like writing but my punctuation is lousy. I'm working on it though.
6. I have used eyeliner since I was about 14. It has got to the point where people don't recognise me if I dont use it, which is abit scary.
7. I like dangly earrings and romantic dresses.
8. I like tea. Even if the world is falling apart around me, the kettle's on.
9. I'm generally a very optimistic person but I don't like to be preachy about this.
10. I love learning. In fact knowing me, I'll probably go back to university again to do a Masters in Creative Writing, or Art, or Philosophy.....
11. I have never been clear about a suitable career path(10.)so I just follow all of them.
12. Negative people make me feel ill.
13. I don't like bitchiness. I went to a girls school, so I learnt alllll about this terrible habit that unfortunatly resides amongst us ladyfolk.

Thats it! I hope you enjoyed reading this list as much as I did in distracting myself doing it! I would love to hear about your lists too. Or just abit about you in regular normal sentences.

ciao ciao :)

An open confession

to my all round wierdness. A cow growing out of a girls head (inspired by the story of a girl who is turned into one in Metamorphoses...) and another one that has yet to be hit with my wierdness stick. All of the portraits so far have different sized noses and lips, some of them have a larger set of eyes than others. But I am trying to have a similar set of facial features throughout all my portraits. Tricky to say the least. But anyway, they're not that wierd are they?
As for the big reveal of my first ever doll. I just think its enough weirdness for one post. It still needs abit of tweaking here and there.
I will try and post abit more. I am currently distracted by downloading songs onto my ipod, making packed lunches for work, doing pre-Christmas push ups in the morning, and attempting to curl my hair.
Hope youre all enjoying the mad last minute rush to buy Christmas presents for people you dont know much about. lol

tata for now (or at least for another few days)

Emiliana Torrini - Heartstopper

This is a beautiful song. Perfect soundtrack to rainy days, cold nights mixed in with a hint of sunshine and daydreaming.

another week goes by...

These days I have not been able to write on my blog more than I should. But I have a very nice surprise in store; my very first doll! After having discovered the English manual instructions to my Singer sewing machine, I got busy over the weekend, making alot of mistakes along the way of course. It was all abit of a revelation to be honest. Me with a sewing machine. Who would have thought?
Never too late to learn, thats my motto.

I will post a picture of the doll once I get round to it. Along with a few more of my visual creations.

(I'd better get back to work now, naughty Khairun is writing this when she should be planning her classes which is what any respectable teacher should do...)

tata for now!