A new year is approaching

I'm feeling alittle overwhelmed by the number of tasks I've set myself. I haven't been creatively productive at all over the last few weeks or so, and I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself as the annual flu, Christmas period,and the penny counting that came with it have all been a serious distraction.
I had a muslim upbringing so Christmas trees and turkeys were something I only saw on T.V or heard my friends talk about in the weeks leading up to the holidays. Now though, having married a man who has countless childhood memories centred around Christmas trees and the endless supply of socks from his grandparents, I know that this will be a part of my life and our future familys life. This year I had a small get together with Mr T's brother, his wife and their adorable children. Spending time with his side of the family is really meaningful to me as it gives me the chance to make connections with not just his family but another way of life totally different to what I had. And being away from my own at this time of the year can be hard. There may not have been a christmas tree but it was a holiday nevertheless and I have lots of fond memories of being at home with my brothers and sisters watching the Queens speech or 'The Snowman' which was a lovely animated childrens story.
I hope that for 2009 I can stay on board creatively. I plan on reading alot more, and scheduling more time to spend it in my studio without the usual technological distractions. I want to find a balance between my love of writing and drawing. I've always wanted to do illustrations of poems or stories, so let's see what I can come up with.

Over the last six months I've learnt to shut out or at least switch off whenever I sense too many negative vibes around me. At times it's worse when the negativity comes from me and then there are times when its the opinions of others that can throw me off. I find that negativity overall can be quite unnerving and mentally draining. It can rear its ugly head in the most unassuming of situations. For me almost any conversation where opinions about another person are exchanged is a negative experience for me. Because I think about how I would feel if my life was being 'discussed' by people who clearly don't know anything about me. Pretty damn angry of course. Then there are the opinions indirect or otherwise, on how you choose to live your life. It distracts me and makes the critical side of me voice itself much clearer. You think you're really clever Khairun, you need to live in the real world, you want to be perfect but who are you trying to convince?Having support and encouragement can be quite hard to come by, especially when we live in an age where it's often considered unrealistic to be optimistic, and when everyday worries cloud a well-judged approach to lifes obstacles. I find myself getting dragged down by it. But luckily for me it only takes a word of encouragement from Mr T or from a dear friend and I pick myself up again. Why shouldn't I want to feel amazing and fabulous? What's wrong with wanting to harbour positive feelings through the right people environment and attitude? As you can see I don't like to let the critical side of me hang around uninvited for too long.

So to all the lovely people out there who have a soft spot for optimism and all round cheefulness, I wish you nothing but great things for 2009.