I think my boy has decided to park his backside in a more agreeble spot so I feel alot more comfortable now. I can't forget that he has his own 9 month plight to endure too, what with him having increasingly limited room to shimmy in there. It means that I feel him nudging me alot more, to the point where I have to stop midway through things, stunned into the sheer marvel that there is something moving about inside of me. And stunned by the sudden urge to pee when he plonks onto my bladder too. Can't get too deep and meaningful when that happens.
At the beginning of the pregnancy I did mention that I found this all to be one big elaborate science project with me being the guinea pig, the only difference being is that Im a far bigger guinea pig now.But that's not to say I'm completely disconnected to this whole motherhood ride. I think this little fellas cool! He clearly knows what he's doing, whilst his own mother quietly awaits, with no clue as to what to do with this new found responsibility and change in her life. Speaking of which, i am frightened by how much I won't know until he arrives. Theres just no way of knowing what to expect. He could have a personality of his own that I'll be totally unprepared for. One that might knock me for six. I just don't know. And the not knowing drives me peanuts.
I have had an abundance of advice on the matter, some very helpful and insightful, others a little scary and have since dismissed.Each parent to their own. I want to be able to take the 'flow' approach, meaning the 'dealing with things as they arise'. I will always remember a very smart observation a friend of mine gave to me which was to see that in all of this, me and Mr T are number 1 in the priority list and not the boy. I don't want to appear like a know-it-all when I don't, but I value my relationship and our 7 years prior to this. Neither of us want to forget that. So we want to travel as much as we can with him, make a point of doing the things we enjoyed doing before without any excuses,and ignore the comments that we'd better make the most of the time we have now. Most of these comments, from what I understand, come from frazzled parents who may have bitten off more than they could chew, putting their offspring before themselves. Common dialogue between parents who find the stresses and strains of people with no children, absolutely laughable. Whatever. A simple 'You'll love it' is alot more reassuring for a newbie like me, than comments highlighting what an idiot I am to even consider the idea of having a life. I want to feel encouraged and supported, doesn't everybody?
These are the latest pictures of the nursery which is coming along just nicely. We decided to go on a tight budget, spending as little as we could so that we can have pennies in the bank for future holidays abroad. The armoire was originally storage for bedding and towels and now its all for the boy. We bought this fab and supercheap crib from Ikea, bedding included. The curtains are also from Ikea. The little bedside table was originally left behind by the people that used to live in this apartment and the lamp is from Mr T's mothers home. We are going to add an old armchair to the room, a few framed pieces on the wall, make my own mobile. and do the finishing touches on the mural. I'm really happy with it so far. It was just as I had imagined it to be.
Elsewhere we are converting a spare room on the same floor as our temporary bedroom, instead of climbing the stairs to our actual loft bedroom. Here it is so far. I framed an old calendar print of a Gaughin piece and those books are gonna have a decent set of shelves to live in at some point. Anything to make it look like our little lovenest (and accessible panicroom incase I want to flee from exploding diapers and such) Our loft bedroom, in the meantime will be sealed off from all kinds of dribble and drool and gaga sounds. Our sanctuary away from our insane decision to pop out some babies before we die.
Its all good.
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