"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than ...

..what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise" [Lewis Carroll]
Still at it with the clay pendant/brooch type thingys, and this time I have been experimenting with bits of vintage paper, with gluey fingers included. It took a while but the end result was quite pleasing. I have no photos of them yet but I will post them tomorrow morning with all the glorious sunlight weve been enjoying lately over here. I still havent touched my sewing machine yet..Im scared! Beginner sewing classes are in desperate need right now. As well as perhaps a therapist as I have started to stare at Mr Singer with glazed eyes. Slight cause for concern there I think.
Ive been in such a creative mood over the last year or so and sometimes I feel like kicking myself for having been 'dormant' for sooo long. Apart from the on and off poetry writing, I was so afraid to paint, or just create with whatever I had at hand. There was so much self expectation on my part but at the same time I never felt I had anything up there in my head that was worth putting down on paper. I know how equally frustrating it can be when none of my ideas seem to be going anywhere. Learning to put a great idea to rest because of its short lifespan is a really hard thing to do. I hate doing it. The idea, the image, the sentence that kept me up all night only to see that it just doesnt translate itself into the language I want via my pens and paints... thats hard..
But Im happy! I have a beautiful home, a beautiful husband, and a newly painted verandah with new plants after my previous ones had been sorely neglected due to all the wedding madness. I have a fantastic space for creating stuff. Tomorrow Im going to get myself a swivel chair, a board for all my visual inspiration as Im getting buried under magazine cutouts, and a desk lamp for my drawing board.
I would also love to have a sewing manual! If there are any recommendations please let me know. I really am as clueless about sewing as is humanly possible.
Life is good and I still have the same dream that Ive had since forever and that is to have my own exhibition oneday. It would be just about the most amazing thing that could happen for me, and sharing my happiness with friends and family would be absolutely fanbloomintastic.
The picture is of Ted Hughes Birthday Letters. I rediscovered it at my mums place after getting it when studying English Lit at Goldsmiths College in London. I couldnt quite believe how stunning the poems are and yet it was there in a bookshelf collecting dust. It got me brimming with ideas for future poems and just so happy to experience beauty after initially finding it difficult to unravel. A poem is like the perfect gift. The surprise gets better over time. The same could be said about a work of art too.
Anyway, thats enough of my rambling. I have an important thing called Jaws to watch on the telly as we speak.