Today I decided it was best to resist the temptation of remaining in my jimjams all day, unbrushed teeth and ratty hair, scoffing down muffins I had made especially for the occasion, and willingly surrendered to a day out in the park. We had a lovely picnic in a beauty woodland area, a matter of minutes from our neighbourhood, and had shamefully ignored until today. It was a beautiful day. Mr T and I had two friends for company, Sandra and Miguel. Sandra very helpfully brought along a charming little picnic set that her mother had kept but never used. Very retro. The forks were clearly not the kind of non-degradable plastic a nuclear bomb couldnt destroy. They succumbed to the barbecued chicken breasts and broke at first impact. Mind you, I was so hungry at that point I was close to cutting right through my plate too.
Anyway, there i was, 11 weeks pregnant eating brussel sprouts and chicken with my fingers. Pregnancy turns you into a she-beast.
Ever since I found out I was with child, I've experienced the joys of simply not giviing a s**t about things that in comparison to the prospect of being a mummy, are so mediocre now. Things like how important it is to be nice. For years I've let that mundane bland word dictate how I should appear around people. Nice, non descript, unassuming, not in the slightest bit opinionated, no stepping on toes. Anything it took to avoid being judged. With impending motherhood slapping me in the face,I will be facing the prospect of being up there in the top 10 of groups in our society who are the most judged, most critiscised and most belittled: the mummy class. Being with Mr T for more than 7 years, we've travelled together, studied together, lived in all sorts of oddly shaped apartments together,eaten bad food together before settling down in Lisbon and deciding that maybe it was time to have a little kiddo together. We've done our fair share of judging too. Looking at screaming children in restaurants, writhing about in highchairs with green splodge all over their faces and thinking to ourselves, we are NEVER going to let our kids behave like that....Forgivable chit chat on the most part. But when it´s other parents who think the same thing, comparing other kids with their own, now THAT is a universe I do not want to get sucked into. I know I'll have to accept that some parents will judge. Well meaning or otherwise.The very people who you want cheering you on reassuringly, patting you on the back, instead are gonna be the haters, the starers, the opinion makers.
I have to just stock up on my supplies of I don't give a s++t pills, and go easy on the nice. Practice my What are YOU looking at stare. Save the nice for little old ladies, kids with cute outfits, and our Ukrainian housekeeper Maria.
Everyone should have a housekeeper. Even if you can't afford one. Like us.
No comments:
Post a Comment