It's oh so quiet..

Because theres no baby yet!
Having all this time at home, all this free time to do whatever I please, is abit like having Disneyland to yourself but without any of your friends to share the fun and games with.I absolutely love the time that I'm having now, I really do. I haven't had this much time from work for ages,so it feels like I'm learning the skills of being at home. It sounds strange to say that there are skills involved but i really think there are. When you go from working day in day out, and only ever getting to see your couch, your T.V your bedroom at a certain time of the day, its a real joy in knowing that there is a light that floods the livingroom around late afternoonish, that my neighbour listens to Billie Holiday on a record player in his garden which I had never known before, and that I get to sit outside on my balcony whilst it's still light which I had never done before either. I also notice how tempting housework can be, just to feel more productive. For me to feel like this in particular is a highly disturbing revelation!
But theres a downside to all this. The house is so quiet, and as much as I enjoy my time, it's a time that spreads out into an unknown point which scares me a little. It's not as if I can't go out or meet people. I can and I do. (Well maybe not quite so much now because I am after all more than 9 months pregnant and carrying quite a hefty load!)I'm starting to learn alot of things about myself, like how I communicate with my friends and how truly important creativity plays its part in keeping me sane. I never knew it before, because working took me away from all that.
The house won't be quiet for very long though, I definately don't need anybody to tell me that! So, as an example of how I have made the most of this temporary quiet time at home all by myself, I've successfully diverted my nesting instincts to the creative side of me. I have finished my second doll! She was looking like she had a fake tan. Very orange in otherwords. So I rectified it, and finished off painting her arms and the back too.


Heres how I made her:
1.I used the ruby doll pattern from oneredrobin and changed the legs. But i used it strictly for the purpose of learning how to make a basic doll shape.
2. Once I had made the doll, I applied white gesso, and sanded it down.
3. I pencil sketched the face and floral design on to the doll. Sanding it down really made it easier to draw on the cloth. I didn't know that before.
4. I then got stuck in with my acrylic paints.
5. That's it. I wanted to blanket stitch a little pocket at the back to slip in a card or something cute but I don't know how to do it. I could have embellished it with sequins and such. The possibilities are endless really. I have a hard time putting a rein on 'prettifying' things!

I should really give her a varnish but I need to find out what kind. Any ideas on this?
She will be one of my first pieces for my future future etsy shop. :)


I'm off to watch this
Have a lovely Thursday!

A new friend

waiting in the wings. She's coming along nicely, and look how lovely she looks in the morning sunlight.



And this is a little pencil drawing I made on a whim, last night. She has promptly been put on my inspiration board. There's no hiding in my studio! No more drawers of the long and forgotten!

I might be a mama today! I have an appointment with my OB later on so please forgive me if I don't blog for a few days.I may be in a very compromised position, holding a baby no less!!!
Wish me luck and a 'small hour' as they say here in Portugal.
They're a funny bunch, the Portuguese. Wonder what in the world they're talking about when they say that, eh??

Have a lovely Teusday!

It's really hard being pregnant

Fluff, three day old quiche and a mission.

Here's my mission. It's to stick to my lists. The important ones. Since I do so many of them to start off with.I tend to do them in the wee hours of the night, not able to sleep because of disturbing visions of Oprah in a lime green velour tracksuit telling me to get my life sorted out pronto in front of an audience who all look like my mother. I have notebooks in different parts of my home (in other words, I dont know where they are), each assigned with their own mission which is to sort out every possible idea in my brain before it mutates into pointless questions like 'Why do we have drawers filled with pens that don't work?' or a suggestion like "Why don't I inspect some fluff under my bed? It might be fun!"
Kills it there and then.
I might decide that the small pink book given to me by a family friend for Christmas, will be solely for notes related to my art vibes. But then, in the middle of it, I see a list of what I need to pack for the hospital.
The need to make lists seep into my psyche like Oprah does. Like a sudden urge to itch when nobodys looking or a momentary lapse in thinking when I decide that eating three day old quiche whilst 9 months pregnant might suddenly be a very pleasant thing to do.
But my latest list has actually worked. It has risen above the mindnumbing mental chit chat, stood tall in a potential minefield of thoughts that puts precedence on ironing underwear above making pretty stuff.
And now, I can say with conviction; Ive been making the pretty stuff and mentally hauling out the need to inspect fluff.

Heres a picture of my next doll. Can't wait to show you peeps the final result.



I'm tres tres excited about it!

Off to have breakfast now. Strictly no eggs for me. Wonder why eh??
Enjoy your Sunday!

09/09/09 at 9am

Baby might not have popped out yet

but I have given birth to the planner in me. Yes, that's right. Khairun is going start planning her creative routine and no amount of dirty dishes and an empty fridge is going to distract her from this mission. Perhaps it was the Carte d'or chocolate chip icecream with fresh raspberries that I ate last night. Upon revealing this to him, Mr T has confiscated all my icecream for fear that I may give birth to a giant Mars Bar on speed and not our wonderfully gorgeous superboy. And he explained this very passionatly to me whilst licking out the last remaining remnants of heaven from the tub. Torture.
Anyway, heres a list of what I am going to be up to. At least until the baby arrives by which point I'm pretty sure my planning euphoria will boil down to sleep deprived survival techniques.

So here it is. The big plan

1. I'm going to do this. I'm all alone at home with my sewing machine. No excuses this time. I will follow the main pattern but give it a Khairun twist.
Update: I made the doll! I. MADE. THIS. DOLL. I'm so chuffed with myself that I could do a little pregnancy dance. I could but I probably won't.


2. Try to make Flickr like me. Put up all my artwork there, the good the bad and the pants. So far, I have a measly two.
3. Take a self-styled Etsy shop business course. I've even got my own notebook for it. Here it is.



4. Keep updating my blog. Which is what I am doing now so there's one thing on the list I'm doing.

5. Make more quiche for friends because it makes them happy. Did my first one today with the help of a friend's recipe.

6. Save my garden from looking like Death Valley. And currently it is.

7. Take baths. Have massages. Finish reading this. And relax God damn it!


Back to the doll making. BYE!

My voodoo and a story about big knickers

I definately was not intending for my blue lady to look so evil-looking, but hey ho, just gotta go whichever way the wind blows. I've tried to keep in mind the idea of reworking on something until it's just right. So despite the end result of this latest project of mine, I can take it as a learning lesson rather than as absolute failure. Consigned to a drawer labelled 'Things I Will Never Bother Doing Again Because It Turned Out To Be Pants'. Yes, admit it reader(s). You know you have a drawer with the same purpose. So I have decided to cleanse myself of all the creative half hearted efforts this drawer has contained over the last few years and pinned alot of them up on a board right in front of my workspace. Im remindef of a feeling similar to that of hanging out a pair of big old knickers for all to see, flapping away in all its pale pink glory. Now, the obvious matter in this case would be to realise that I really need to buy nice knickers, but at the same time they are still my knickers and I need to own the fact that I do like wearing them. Lots of comfort. 100% cotton. Roomy. Good to do Yoga in. Anyway, What Im trying to say by using my big knickers as a metaphor, is that seeing my creative efforts for what it is, in front of me, really shows me the common thread in my work which is a great insight and a reassurance that I'm not so all over the place creatively as I often think I am. I can see what I can do well and what I need to work on. But I can also see where I should be taking my work. It's all about being true to yourself. And the best way to do this is to open that drawer and bring it all out into the open. Three years of work that I should celebrate, no matter how oddball or dissatisfied I might be with them. It is still me. And I love my oddball tendencies.
Big knickers are cool.

This is a girl

who used to be camera-shy. Not anymore though. You get to a certain age where you just don't give a hoot how ridiculously superficial you become. (Sandra-I hope you don't mind me posting this without your permission, but its such a lovely picture of you that I couldn't resist the temptation)


who, every year, missed the annual village fête near our weekend hideout in Atalaia, a tiny parish situatued along Lisbons coastline.


who used to think that you need to be the best in what you do. But simply being good enough, is a much more realistic goal.

Hope you are having a lovely weekend folks!

I got myself out of the slump

and worked on a small piece, making use of my watercolours and inks. I like the way this has turned out.

 

I took a long hard look

at my blog and I decided that it really needed a tidy up. I've heard that during late pregnancy, women have an uncontrollable need to clean, arrange, colour coordinate and label-anything to feel a sense of order and serenity. Well, in my case that same hormonal desire,whilst certainly running havoc in my ovaries, hasn't exactly pushed me towards a mega cleaning marathon. But it has given me enough highs to plough through my favourites and jazz up my blog. And boy, did it take a long time or what. Updating links, adding new categories, reading up on other blogs for inspiration. All done during my peak nesting times. Though blogging might not help stock up on nappies, or get me thinking on the necessity for a room themometre or a baby wipe warmer,it does keep me grounded in all the sky high emotions of having a baby. And it makes me happy too, in the mere knowing of what it is that makes me happy, what keeps me ticking, if that makes sense. I have said to myself time and time again, that I would like to open an online shop. A part of me kept stalling on it because of lack of time to produce more work, lack of inspiration, lack of confidence, and lack of knowledge in making my work into a business of some sort. This is my mind talking here. And a talking mind is a huge obstacle to overcome. Having a baby might just be the key in making me a stronger person to just do it. Or not. Either way, I've still just got to do it. And I will take advantage of the time I have to be at home now to do it. Wish me luck!




In the meantime, here is a picture of food. What a surprise eh? Last nights attempt at eating small portions failed miserably when friends of ours decided not to bring just one giant quiche, but two. Plus a salad with my very own special dressing, and all of it eaten up on our balcony. My way of enjoying the last handful of summer evenings.
After all that food I felt I needed to be airlifted by helicopter afterwards. I have to control my eating!

Me, a mirror, and my little wonderboy

 

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear from Gabe Askew

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear from Gabe Askew on Vimeo.

My heart is all mushed up after watching this about 10 times. Mr Magoo also has another name in honour of this occasion; Mr Grizzly Magoo.

Off to have a shower before the neighbours start calling the local authorities due to a strange whiff.
Just kidding OF COURSE! I'm still maintaining personal hygeine. Whilst walking around my apartment in big underpants and a tank top with the air conditioning revved up to the max. I'm supposed to be resting but all I feel like doing is to walk in and out of rooms and torture myself with what I need to do to make everything look spick and span.
Three more weeks. THREEEEEE MOREE WEEEEEKKSSS!

This is to blame

for having gained another 3 kilos in just over a month. Spinach tagliatelle with roasted tomatoes, aubergine and large helpings of ricotta cheese. Me and Mr Magoo likey likey very very much.

 

Fire bird

 

 

 

Maternity leave has officially started!

And what better way to spend the day than wash lots and lots of teeny tiny baby clothes, set up the bassinet for the first few months of Mr Magoos life ( I have now decided to call him Mr Magoo whenever the mood strikes me. I hope to God this child of mine doesn't develop issues because of his mothers obsession for pet names) and the most essential thing of all which I have proudly ticked off my todo list: a crocheted mobile. Well, it consists of different coloured crocheted circles hanging off bits of string from the ceiling lamp. I will post a picture of it. Just not now. Since I don't have one yet. But tomorrow morning, and when I say morning I mean probably around 7 since that has been my current abnormal behaviour these days. My daily dash to the loo. Mr Magoo is making his way down and he needs space! Enough said. So a picture of my mobile-type-thingy will be coming hot off the press. tomorrow. Lukewarmish.

Last day at work!

and then the loooonnnng road ahead of me, filled with all sorts of mysterious twists and turns. Plenty of Dr Phil, unscheduled naps here and there, attempting to knit. Resisting the mammoth urge to eat spoonfuls of nutella at 4 in the morning.
On a different note, I am trying in vain to get along with my scanner. I finished a piece recently and I really want to scan the damn thing rather than take a blurry camera shot of it. I managed doing it with the ultrasound picture but I can't remember how I did it.
The baffling world of Khairun. I never cease to amaze myself.

My pain threshold has been officially tested

by the infamous leg cramp. It is what footballers get actually. I guess that is the only thing I have in common with Christiano then. Which is a shame since I would rather have in common a molecule of his current bank balance. And an autograph for my nephew. I spent most of this morning in bed sounding like my vacuum cleaner in a bad mood. Which sounds abit like this: ghhbbheehhhhhhhhaaaaaeeeeee!!!!!!!! Followed by the frantic plea to 'rub my leg, rub my leg RUB IT NOWWWW!!!!!!', putting Mr T in a clear state of shock because of waking him out of a dream where a vacuum cleaner was chasing him down the streets and screaming ghhbbeehhhaaaaaaaa!
So with my feet propped up and feeling like I just want to roll over and pass out for a few blissful YEARS I took the day off work, much to the delight of my boss who is now having to find a way of doing my classes.
Hoping tomorrow will be better.

He may be asleep

but he certainly wouldnt miss a photo opportunity.

The abandoned blog

I dont know why I cant just get off my backside and pay more attention to this blog of mine. Oh wait, I know why. My little bubba is now a very big bubba which means getting off my backside requires an effort of Herculean proportions. Getting out of bed is another daily source of amusement for my husband too. Once I start my maternity leave I will get back on track with this blog and a million other things on my crazy nesting inspired to do list.
Being damn huge does have its perks though. I do get to play the pregnancy card for alot of useful things like jumping cues and having bags carried for me. At work I have taken plenty of snack breaks throughout the day, and a designated space in the office to put my feet up. The joys of pregnancy! Im fortunate enough to have alot of support from my colleagues at work.

Anyway, it is only a matter of time now before my life, and Mr Ts, is turned upside down and inside out and back to front by our bubba. I have a 4D image of him which, when I get round to it, I will scan and post on this abandoned blog, taken hostage by a whole lotta babytalk and not enough art!

New thing Im doing... YOGA! Loving it at the moment. Gets me stretched in all the right places!

Wouldn't it be nice

to put my feet up and see this. This was taken from the balcony of our hotel room in the Maldives.
How I'm feeling right now: Calm yet quietly anticipating the imminent arrival of our little one
What I'm doing right now: Organising things around the house, contemplating the six months I'll be taking off work very very soon
What I should be doing right now: Getting Miss Wizard packing and ready to go! Making lunch and getting ready for work!

 

Room with a View

Missing my home, my family and friends these days. Most of it down to the pregnancy I'm sure. It's only a matter of weeks now. Last night we bought diapers,a baby bathtub and teeny tiny socks. Still haven't got much clue as to how much more we need, but just trying to focus on what will make our lives a little bit easier for the first month or so. My doctor took one look at my belly and said what everybody else has been saying: YOU'RE HUGE! She thinks I might need to be induced around the beginning of September if he keeps growing at this rate. I have total faith in her and having the baby earlier than planned will just give me more of my maternity leave to be with him, rather than waiting for him and getting fatter in the process. It's all very very exciting. I can and cannot wait to be a mamma. One part of me wants him to stay in me belly, all snug and secure. Another part of me wants him OUT so that I can stop waddling around like a duck and fluffing a dozen cushions just to sit comfortably. Not digging the belly meets upper thighs when I sit down either.My skin has been good to me though. Thanks to genetics I guess. My mum has beautiful skin and she didn't get any stretch marks with all 5 pregnancies! I'll be happy not to get any just with my first.
Feeling abit tired now. I have been painting sporadically, but as you can probably guess, the whole baby thing has been a slight distraction to say the least. I will post my latest painting over the weekend.
Gotta go. Have a lovely day!

 

Zaitoon

In Arabic she's an olive. And a very special olive too because she's my baby sister and she got married over the weekend, so shes not such a baby anymore. I tried my very best to distract myself with other things just so that I wouldn't get too sad about not being there. But it was a difficult task let me tell you. Being 31 weeks pregnant (only 9 weeks to go!) my hormones are currently in a 24 hour rave. Theres just no let up with the feelings of elation and downright despair! I was devastated that I couldn't go.
But I take heart in the knowledge that my beautiful sister is out there in the world, doing her thing, strutting her stuff, and making the people around her happy, just by being happy herself. She literally organised our entire wedding last year back home in London without any hint of regret, since it was all a very last minute affair (a long and winding road of a story!)That was the last time I saw her. Can't wait to see her again, and hopefully it will be during my maternity leave from September.
Enjoy your honeymoon sis!

 

Giveaway results

Thankyou Erika and Alexia for commenting on last weeks giveaway. After much deliberation this morning over a cuppa tea and Antiques Roadshow, Miss Wizard will be winging its way to both of your lovely homes! Email me your address and I shall have her ready to go.

Im gonna put this picture up where I can see it

So that I can remind myself of my true hot mama qualities. Right now Im hot, but in the sweaty sense. Swollen feet included. I got this lovely gift from Natalie. A late birthday gift. Late birthday gifts are great because just when you think your day to celebrate has long gone, you suddenly get a couple more gifts waiting in the woodworks. So it was a lovely surprise. Thanks Nat!
I am still waiting for a few more people to take part in my giveaway! Where are you folks?! Perhaps Miss Wizard is alittle scarier than I had expected. Well, she remains in my studio and she will not stop asking me where she's going on Friday. Wherever it is, Im sure she will be looked after well. :)

 

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...

Look at my delicious cake. Professionally photographed too!

There has been a cloud hanging over us at work these last few weeks. Unprecedented changes has led to a general sense of doom and gloom. Cake. Just what the doctor ordered. Chocolate raspberry pavlova. Not as pretty as Nigellas, mine collapsed as soon as i took it out of the oven, but it went down a treat! I have made this a couple of times already and it makes people smile. That makes me smile too.

Alright alright, here's what it really looked like, run over by a lorry it seems.

More of my cavewoman antics

I really liked the way this one turned out. Very Japanese. Very zen. Very cavewoman. Very me.

Giveaway reminder: Don't forget to comment on my giveaway post if you wish to have a chance of eternal friendship with the Wizard. Despite all the rope twirling business, she's fairly sane really.

The Wizard - Giveaway

Here is a little something that escaped from the confines of my head. Its not pretty up there, what with all the pregnancy induced mush currently taking over. This little wizard clearly had enough, so with the help of a rope, and some ingenious sorcery, she did a runner! And aren't I thankful or what as I just couldnt handle all that hocus pocus malarky. If you are interested in giving her a home, preferably framed and sitting very nicely on a shelf or dresser somewhere which should keep her happy, then just leave a comment. I will pick a name on the 17th July which is a Friday.

Note: Just to let you know, sometimes your comment may not appear as swiftly as you and I would like, but if you stare at the picture, whisper the magic words 'what a big head you have' and then click on refresh, your comment will magically appear!
If this fails, then you can also leave your comment via email which I will happily include in the final draw.

Good luck!

Huge would be the operative word

And here I am feeling like i have a watermelon strapped to my stomach. That dress happens to be the most comfortable thing I have worn since I started expanding in all directions. I have had to finally scour my way through the infamous maternity wear departments across much of Portugal. Shame we dont have GAP here. Ive heard great things about their line for mamas to be. The dress was from H&M so the pricetag was well within my budget.



I had a great week off, spending it at the beach (that viewpoint from under the sun umbrella was mine for quite a number of relaxing days) collecting rocks and then painting on them, like a cavewoman. I also used my pocket watercolour set to do some sketches whilst I was there, alfresco style. I felt like abit of an artisan, totally absorbed, blocking out the world around me except the sound of the waves and the gentle seabreeze. It was an interesting exercise in general too since I was out of my normal studio surroundings and learning instead to take my creativity outside. Something that can be both awkward yet exhilarating at the same time. It felt pretty good.

I managed to finish a couple of watercolour pieces too, one of which I will give away this month as a print. I will write about it tomorrow. In the meantime, have a look at this blog by my friend Natalie. She's a young artist living in London and is about to launch her etsy shop . Her work ranges from some lovely mixed media work to intricate jewelry design. I wish you lots of luck in your new venture Nats!

Drifting along

like a feather. Well not quite, but the weather today has been absolutely wonderful. We couldn't take the stifling heat in Lisbon so we legged it to our little house by the sea. Bought myself a book on yoga and an encyclopedia on mythology. Making the most of my pocket watercolour set too. Right now I can't show you any pics until we head back to Lisbon on Sunday (left my usb cable at home). But I thought I would post something about my day regardless.

I will be giving away one of my watercolour pieces this month. Spreading the love! More information on this when I get back from my hazy lazy break. Until then, cheerio!

Birthday Girl

Beautiful gifts from my beautiful husband. Art materials to remind me of who I am, a gorgeous vase and a pretty little ring which I will photograph once I do my nails! Cant be wearing the ring with grubby nails could I?

A lovely start to the day. Hope yours was too.

My Greenbird

I'm going to be 29 tomorrow! Planning on making myself a yummy birthday cake,order a few books from Amazon and get some art supplies courtesy of Mr T. To be honest, I haven't put much thought to what I would do this year, since this year has been all about the bulge. The most important thing for me to celebrate right now, is that I'm in a happier state of mind despite the stressed out rant here and there. I'd say my current slouching spot these days is in a very positive and gentle place. Not as exhilerating as being on top of a mountain, more of a balcony overlooking a lake, with a cup of tea and a book by my side, and my hand on my belly.

I finished this piece yesterday evening. Trying to enjoy the process rather than worrying about the end result. I find I'm alot more productive and freer that way. Hope you like it! I'm planning to do a series of these strange, mysterious figures. Let's see how it goes. In the meantime, I still have a nursery to wrap up!