a little plant

white acrylic ink on kraft paper.

 

do you think he looks like me?

If you look really really closely, you might be able to work out a distinctive wink. Or maybe not.In fact its just a blurry sepia-coloured image of his squishy face in the top right-hand corner. And it is indeed a bouncing baby boy! Because he sure knows how to bounce! Especially after a second helping of Lindt dark chocolate with orange and almonds..mmmmm After the bouncing action he sleeps like a rock. Guess all that sugar knocks him out. Check out the sublime scanning alignment of the photo. Brings tears of joy to my eyes, just looking at it.

 

latest cause for concern: Lindt orange dark chocolate

Today we bought our baby stroller! A very momentous occasion indeed if I don't say so myself. I've had to restrain myself from wanting to take it for a test run around the neighbourhood but Mr T, quite rightly, informed me that I would look mentally unstable if I did that. So I've had to make do with practicing how fast I can fold it up ( about 7 seconds..woohoo!) It's not one of those stroillers you need a driving licence for, no aerodynamic lightweight NASA certified poop-proof smugness about it. It didn't put a humungous dent in our bank balance either. A year and a half of saving (which meant downgrading on my shampoo and conditioner, using the same mascara for 15 years and giving up, once and for all, those lame reasons for a 'quick pop' into Mango)all going towards the miniature version of me and Antonio. Almost sounds like a freak science accident, set to escape the laboratories in September and invade our world in drool and poop and and a cute little sailor outfit (Mr T doesn't know about the latter of course. That would just finish him off for sure)

On a completely different subject to which I was'nt clever enough to link well to, over at Sofia Barão's blog, she is doing a fabulous giveaway of one of her charming necklaces. She's Portuguese and lives in Paris where she works as an artist. Her work ranges from some beautiful abstract paintings, sublime photography and pretty jewelry. I'm not in the slightest bit jealous at all... WHERES MY CHOCOLATE!!!! Just go to the link above and take part. I certainly have. :)

My rock

Found it in the Algarve a couple of weeks ago. And now I have adopted it as my rock.

The end result

this is what makes me late for work

Breakfast in front of the telly.

Everything's growing around here

and Im not just talking about our flowers (or my dental bills..eek.Wish I was in the U.K taking advantage of FREE dental for pregnant ones..grrrrr!). Those green trousers are the only pair that are willing to cooperate with me these days. Even when I sit down, they dont ride up into never-never land. Hooray for floaty tops though. Theyre all over the place this spring, making it ever so easy for me to find something comfy and pretty at the same time.

And heres my sketch for the painting in the nursery! I really like the colours and I cannot wait to get started on it, which will hopefully be next week after our Wednesday scan. It's almost been two months since we've seen him. Still convinced it's a chico, but after Wednesday, all shall be revealed!

Planning ahead...

I have been meaning to post my first water colour piece but I don't have access to my laptop right now. So no shifty camera work for today.
Lots of inspiring things fluttering about in my head (not to mention Mr Watermelon. He's doing cartwheels in response to my recent indulgence in carrot cake, and other things that would make my doctor tut tut rather alot). I am trying to figure out a way of having a few prints of my work sorted for friends and family, squeezing in lots of reading on starting an Etsy shop, and exciting conversations with friends who want to change the world.Or at least their own world. It's great having supportive people around you and none more so than your very own friends. I can't wait to get cracking on a few more pieces, start planning the wall painting in the nursery and finish my crochet baby blankets.
If there is anybody who can give me advice on making art prints I would be oh so grateful, whether I should get it done with a home printer, at a printer shop or an online service, as well as the best choice of paper, do let me know. Thankyou!

Will post those images soon, including a bonus belly pic!
Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

All my life

is not enough time to spend with you.

 

 

Sandy Mastroni

I love this woman's work! Here are just a tiny example of some really beautiful pieces. I love her use of colours and textures, and the way she juxtaposes the disturbing (see her baby face dolls) with the magical. You can see more of her work in her blog and her shop, where she is doing a fabulous sale!

New piece

Thought I would post pictures of what Im working on at the moment. Inspired by the sketches Ive done recently.
Im using watercolour inks and hahnemuhle watercolour paper. Its the first time Im using ink and I have to say, its a hell of alot easier to use than acrylics or goauche. And I cant be inhaling oil paints on a daily basis now.Doctors orders.
Its Mr Ts birthday today! He took the morning off work and for the first time he felt the melon kicking away. I think it was the melons way of saying Happy Birthday Papa!
Scan in two weeks time. At bloomin last. No amount of croissant consumption and Oprah could make the wait feel shorter. Fatter though? Probably definately YES.

 

Weekend obsession

 

With the help of my Mr Ts four year old nephew Daniel (the little squiggle on the bottom right). This required alot of back-bending and scrunchy-eyed concentration. Well worth the effort. I felt my creativity having a good kick up the bum. i never realised how much I missed drawing until I finished this. Happy is me.
Hope you had a lovely weekend!

A teensy weensy peek

Two new sketches. Im on quite a bit of a sketch run arent I? Let's see if I can rise to the challenge of a polished final piece. Minus the coffee cup rings and smudged eraser marks.

 

And the winner is....

Natalie!
One signed Khairun original!

The Birdcatcher

A quick watercolour, pen and pencil sketch in my brand spanking new moleskine sketchpad. I will start scanning the images so that I can present them better on the blog. For now however, Im going to have to make do with bad angles and lighting.

Homers long lost cousin from Mexico

Back to doodling again. Im on a mission. The mission is to draw girls with extraodinarily gigantic heads and yellow skin. Funnily enough, my creative fancies are back from their long vacation on the moon. I must have enticed them somewhat with my increased activities in the kitchen. Since I'm eating so much. Had a go at making my very first batch of parathas this weekend.ONE WORD. CLARIFIED BUTTER. HEAVEN......The after effects of having my cooking expert of a friend staying this month has left all my hand towels smeared in turmeric (and for those who know, turmeric stains are absolute hell to take out)the smell of garlic wafting down the streets of our neighbourhood.
I'm getting bigger by the week, and yet I'm still not sure how much of it is food and how much of it is our bubba. Anyhows, I'm feeling good these days. Reorganised my studio again ( for the 10th time). Still want to make sure I have my own space amongst all the preparations for the baby. I'm also planning on doing a wall mural in the nursery. Something verging on earthy and natural. I will reveal my plans very soon!

Have a smashing week people.

Tabla Woman

 

God bless chocolate pancakes

A few days ago i had a conversation with a good friend of mine. After consuming a mountain of vegetable tempura, wonton soup, steamed fish followed by chocolate pancakes and icecream, we sat on our lumpy carpet from Habitat like beached whales and had the kind of chat i have been craving for. I am happy to announce that my brain is still in fully functioning order. Still feels like marmite mush up there, but the marmite mush delivered. I can think! Even after eating, since i'm usually numb from the head down after a meal like that.
I told her about all the annoying 'advice' I keep getting when I haven't asked for it, the tutt-tutting when I eat a slice of chocolate cake and comments like 'Are you sure you should be eating-doing-lifting-drinking-BREATHING that? She listened and understood where I was coming from! Hoorah for friends who have no kids! The most underrated, underestimated species of people ever. I've had too many 'well-intended' comments, advice, looks, stares, mutters from mothers of young children in particular, that I was starting to feel really inadequate. So it was lovely to have a friend who simply listened, gave me her own insights into motherhood without being condescending at all. Best of all, she let me eat chocolate pancake without the slightest hint of a tutt.
To all the mothers out there dishing out advice to mothers to be, particularly first timers like me, go easy on us! Give the advice by all means, but only when its asked for and only when you can clearly see it needs to be given (like if you see a woman 6 months pregnant and scuba diving or something) Share your stories without judgement, and support her unconditionally. Trust that she can do it, just as you did, and even if you didn't, trust her anyway. Don't assume she will go through what you did. If there is anything that fills me with more confidence, it's the feeling that I am being left to do it as best as I see fit. People need to respect that. I have the closest of friends, my family supporting me. If I need help, they'll be my first port of call. Along with the internet too. When I can't sleep. But people I barely know? Mind your own business!

End of rant. Now it's time for a song.
Mr T hated this but I loved it. A lullaby for adults and children alike. Don't listen to this whilst driving.

Me and the melon

Here I am! looking more and more like a mama. I won't know if its a chico or a chica until May. In the meantime, I'll just keep referring to my child as a large fruit. With teeny tiny legs.

Zee Happy Hippooo!!

My best friend's daughter loved running around. She managed to keep herself busy at the Cultural Centre of Belém which was quite a mean feat considering the fact that she's only 5 and didn't have anybody her age to play with for the week that she was here. Missing her overall cuteness. Sickening how kids can have that effect on you.

A view from up high

From the castle of St.Jorge to be precise. This view never fails to blow me away. Don't get anything like this in London that's for sure.

Some baby action going on here!

I felt the melon do a little jiggy this morning. Hoorahhhh!!
Woke up deliciously late on this fine Sunday morning. Ate two huge buttery croissants, washed down with a lovely mug of tea. Mmmmmmmmmm
Off for a walk by the riverside with Mr T. Planning a little photoshoot so I should be back with some rather tasteful pictures of moi plus the melon.

Sorry for the recent absence again. My best friend and her gorgeous little daughter took me away from my blog whilst they came for a short visit. They left last Monday and I'm missing them already. It's one of the downsides of living abroad. Friends and family come and visit when they can, but it never seems long enough, no matter how much they might drive you mad or make untimely comments on your housekeeping skills.(cough cough)So last night, me and the T decided to hook up with Skype. The marvels of technology. I am so behind! Waddling away whilst everyone else is sprinting into the future! I saw my mum and dad on the video cam. The first time since last June! Why hadn't I thought of this before? The first thing my mum wanted to do (in true Bengali-mumsy style) was to check out the T again. I guess it was just to remind herself that I am indeed married and that out there, in the treacherous terrain known as Portugal, there was a rather handsome looking chap by my side protecting me. Just as the T was about to appear on the video I told him to suck it in. All of it. Its a little known fact that when youre pregnant, your partner is prone to mimick the physical changes in your body. Phantom pregnancy.
That's why we BOTH need to go for a walk..

Giveaway update: Once I have it printed I will show a better image of the piece. In the meantime I'm going to enter a few people who I know would love to have this piece, on behalf of them. Just to get a healthy number going!

Back soon with more pictures!

Easter Giveaway

The Tree House

Just to remind you all that there was a time in my life, before pregnancy came along, where I actually put pen to paper and drew something. I did this a while back, and was so pleased at how it came out (always by chance, these things) that I'm going to make prints of it for a future Etsy shop. One day. In the meantime, why not spread the love, and give one of the prints away?

Just leave a toblerone for me. Or send me a message (khairunsmoon@gmail.com) incase you are one of the unfortunate ones having problems commenting on my blog. I am trying to solve it. Closing date will be the end of this month. Thursday the 30th. I will select a name at random.So plenty of time to remind yourself that somewhere, outthere, there is a girl called Khairun who has a blog. And is rubbish at letting everyone know about it.

Good luck!

What in the name of George are those????

That's what my Portuguese friends tell me when they see these jars in my kitchen. Well, along those lines anyway.
I had to label them so that all was alot clearer and that they wouldn't be confused with dying terrariums or a collection of 'dirt' from my travels across the country. (across my street these days. From the sofa. A collection of what's within the crevices of my sofa. Gross.Sorry, train of thought going to strange places now......).
The labels are my friends. A form of spice identification. Back up. Incase putting them in glass jars don't work.
Blue, white and red. Hail Brittania! Or France. Or America... no confusion as to where our spud's roots are, that's for sure. Sorry Mr T, and sorry Mum, but the red and green combo (Bangladesh and Portugal in case you folks didn't know) just seems so garish!

I have also been making a few more granny squares for a baby blanket. Not quite figured out how to watch telly whilst doing them though. Only true masters in the art of crochet can do that. Abit like touch typing. Touch crocheting? I tried it and practically ended up sticking the hook up my nose.



Touch crocheting?? Me?? Your'e havin a laugh mate!

Baby update: Nothing special to be honest. Apart from wanting to eat dinner at 5 or 6. And again abit later with Mr T. I cook like a mad scientist, trying to discover a way to rid the world of disease and poverty. With alot of gusto, in other words. That includes shovelling it down my mouth with not much left for Mr T. Pregnancy can make you evil. Evil and mad.Ever so slightly.
I've just eaten a banana. And a Bounty bar afterwards. Medical research at its best. And I am not just the scientist here but quite clearly, the human guinea pig too.
Goerge knows, what that's gonna do to my digestive system.

Must get back to the crocheting now. And come up with more names to substitute the man upstairs. Ron Almighty.

(erm...I should reassure you that I wouldn't seriously put my body in any kind of danger. I can actually eat healthily. I ate two apples today. And I can sucessfully get off the sofa without taking the sofa with me. You see?!)

My very first short story

which I have proudly posted here called Samosas for Tea. I loved the writing process and the way it seemed to take root the more time and attention I gave it. I would love to take the idea behind this story further, play around with it abit more, which the short story format doesn't allow me to do. There was a fair amount of nail biting after I hit the 'post' button. Worried that I'd be publicly booed off the online stage of budding writers, 99% of whom, could probably teach me a thing or two about how to, well, write. So I can't tell you how ecstatic I was to be given a review, a very thoughtful and detailed one too. She thought it was 'charming'. Yeah! I can't believe I wrote something charming! I never knew I had it in me to do charming. Not ever.
If you wish to peruse further, I have alot of my poems posted there too. Just click on the name Francoise (my sultry French pseudonymn) and with a little baited breath, behold! A list of my poems! The good, the bad, and the damn right stinky.

Enjoy and do let me know which ones you liked. I like to know these things you see. People. Reading. My work. Wow.

Lashings of love for this book

The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox by Maggie O'Farrell. I devoured this book in just under a week, just as I did with her previous books. Reading makes me fantasise about becoming a writer, but this urge is remarkably similar to what I have recently been experiencing 5 minutes pre-pee. Intense, and at times filled with want and despair.Depending on how far away I am from the nearest wc. Afterwards, I'm back to my old, not very intense tea-drinking, book-reading self.
I heartily recommend this book to anyone who is so afraid of reaching the last pages of a good story, and of not knowing what to do with ones life after such an ordeal. I literally wanted to throw this book down the loo after I was done peeing. I wanted it to go on forever. Not the peeing of course.

I have to stop talking about pee.

Only 13 weeks?? You're HUGE

I don't recommend slouching like this.At all.

Nursery/room for ironing.

Granny squares for a blanket. 4 down, 1098735938 to go.

Mr Grapefruit is proudly showing himself alot more than the average 13 week old child. Most of the students got wind of the news, though there are a few who are still under the illusion that the newly acquired waddle is down to some serious fat baggage. An illusion which holds alot of truth to it.I could be 5 months the way I look right now, which embarasses me alittle, because I'm sure my scary aftermeal bloat has alot to do with the overall effect. Perhaps the grapefruit just has a HUGE head. Or a HUGE SOMETHING ELSE according to the proud father. I'd rather have the latter. Huge heads are a womans worst nightmare. Episiotomy guaranteed.
I've regained alot of my energy back which is wonderful. So much so that I'm crocheting like a granny on speed. And waddling faster. Particularly to the toilet. Alot. The joys of the second trimester is the heavy-duty peeing. Whilst Mr T takes every opportunity to disappear for a fag, I disappear for a pee. So we haven't been seeing each other much.

I got my first baby gift from my lovely coworker and friend Sandra. Completely out of the blue. I was showing them to a friend of Mr Ts and saying how they were officially the first new item for the grapefruit, to which she responded with a slight air of dismay 'Well, you know you should start thinking about buying these things Khairun'. Grrrrrrrr. Why do such comments come out like a suspicious immigration officer at airports? (with a name like Khairun Begum, I have had the LOOK,especially at Heathrow airport, so for all those with unpronouncable names, you know what I'm talking about) Little does this person know that my dear sister-in-law gave us clothes that her son has since outgrown. A whole truckload of them! We are so grateful for this, hence the lack of baby gear (because of lack of $$$). We are spongers and we are proud. At some point down the line we will get him something, but whether I do or not is no business of anybody else, particularly total strangers. If I want to wrap him up in toilet paper I will. That's my business. And the social services too....

Bengali cooking is not for the weak hearted.....

/there is an absence of punctuation in this post because of an error on my laptop. Just for you to know/ Hence the forward slash instead of brackets..

In a couple of weeks time my best friend Yasmin, her husband and 5 year old daughter are coming over from London to visit us. Theyll be staying for a week and I am just thrilled since it will be their first time here. Yasmin and I have been friends for more than 15 years. Shes kind, affectionate, generous and since getting married has become abit of an expert when it comes to Bengali cooking.
If I havent mentioned it already, my parents are from Bangledesh and moved to England in the late seventies. I grew up eating traditional food, and when I mean traditional, I really do mean traditional. For instance,all the main meals were eaten with the right hand, there were lots of rice and a medley of vegetarian, fish and meat dishes. Nothing was ever microwaved,or bought readymade. Everything was cooked from scratch. My mum grew coriander, green beans, courgettes, tomatoes and gigantic water gourds. She had her own organic compost heap in the back garden, so nothing ever went to waste. I didnt even get to sniff a Mcdonalds burger until my late teens and popping into the local newsagents for a Mars bar was a big nono for as long as me and my younger sister were within earshot of my mum.
So with a new baby on the way and my best friend coming to visit, I want to take advantage of her by getting her to teach me how to cook Bengali style. Its the one thing I really regret. Ignoring my mum completely whilst she spent years slaving away in the kitchen for her family. I could have learned a thing or two.
If youre interested in Bengali cooking, heres what you absolutely must have. Without these, you may as well be cooking shepards pie.

Bengali cooking essentials. With these you can make basic curries.

1.Cumin powder
2.Turmeric powder
3.Garam Masala powder
4.Chilli Powder
5.White onions
6.Ginger
7.Garlic
8.Cinammon sticks
9.Bay leaves
10.Cardamoms
11.Cloves
12.Anise seeds

Heres a list of things if you really want to make people say oooooh whats that

1. Asafoetida powder. Really pungent stuff. But once cooked it takes on the aroma of caramelized onions and garlic.
2.Corn starch. Handy for making pakoras
3.Rice flour. Like the above plus I think you can use it in certain desserts which I personally have no clue about.
4 Tamarind water
5.Whole cumin seeds.
6.Bengali five spice
7.Mustard oil. A must for salad dressings
8.Clarified butter. Wonderful for making parathas.

Your best bet is to get these ingredients from speciality stores. The kind you often find in the dodgier parts of town. Next to pawn shops and mini cab stands. But it is well worth the visit. In addition you can probably get to sample exotic fruit and vegetables. If you love mangoes and lychees, these shops usually have the most wonderfully aromatic and tastiest on offer.

Why does the American lady in this video clip shout when shes talking. Are they deaf. Besides making me laugh, this is a good clip to show you just how many things you can cook. And take a look at the cutting device the lady uses. I cant rememember the name of it but it involves one having to crouch down in front of it by sitting on a really small stool. Not great for your back but great for getting your veg chopped up nice and neatly.



Pregnancy update> I am now 13 weeks into what seems like a very long wait. My current craving is coconut and cheese sandwiches, and grilled chicken makes me want to heave. I am in the process of crocheting a blanket for my little grapefruit. Yeah! Back to the crocheting again...kinda missed it after all this time. Will post pictures in due time.

Happy cooking!

Tulips staring out the window. And not much else...

I planted these little lovelies around mid-January and they've finally flowered! I thought they were supposed to be white and yellow. Guess they decided to surprise me. They have a lovely scent too and with a nice sunny spot in our livingroom, I hope they can stick around a while longer seeing as I had to wait so long for them. I'm not what you'd call an avid gardener. The mood for it comes and goes. In fact I would say just about everything I do depends on my mood for it; painting, writing, reading, paying the bills, charging my mobile, going to work.... I pretty much do what I want to do. There are disadvantages to it though. There are times when you do have to shake yourself out of that ' I just don't feel like it' mood. I mean, I couldn't imagine a penguin waddling up to the water for a refreshing dip and then suddenly deciding that he just didn't fancy it and waddles back to where he came from. Penguins jump in. We have second thoughts. We are quite adept at having no particular reason for doing nothing much in particular. Is ennui, this nondescript impulse to just sit on your backside and stare into space-is it a condition specifically designed to get in the way of doing regular things, even things that should be of pleasure to us? Or the opposite. Is it a reason to just sit still, stop fidgeting and notice how quiet we can be inside our heads? I think alot of us battle with it more than we care to admit. Lack of time,opportunity and money is what we'd normally call it. No time to go to the cinema, have a drink with friends, read a good book crochet, cook, chat, breathe, live. No time to stop hanging out with people you secretly can't stand, no time to end a lousy relationship. Or sort out that severe constipation your bowels have been complaining of for the past five days.There is never enough time, money or opportunity to end a lousy constipated relationship with a person you secretly can't stand. Why are we such gluttons for punishment? Many of us substitute the good things in life with a multitude of reasons to not do them. We often play down spontaneity as 'silly ideas',small pleasures as downright laziness. We can't jump in like cute little penguins, but we also can't stand walking away, avoiding things yet again. Doing nothing is worse than doing everything. Everything you'd rather not do, that is.
I'm a happy little penguin in a happy marriage. We've fought plenty of times but I think what keeps us together is that we simply don't have expectations of each other to do or be better. We take comfort and pleasure in what we have together. We don't fight the feeling. We've got the ennui within our happiness at a healthy level, hovering somewhere between spontaneity and calm. Sometimes we'll go and do something different, before going back to the calm of what we have.

Read, laugh, play, talk to yourself, plant tulips in teapots and make granny squares. Fight those evil ennui goblins away. Or make them your friendly servants, dishing out moments of peace and quiet and not much else.

All you can do is wait.....

Introducing the satsuma!!! We have a feeling it's a boy because he's in a reclining position remarkably similar to Mr T after a big meal. Like father like son. He was asleep so I had to shimmy abit to get him to entertain us. He waved, stretched his legs, and then promptly nodded off again. Abit like my dad in front of the telly on Sunday afternoons.
The ultrasound was at two, which meant we would see the doctor as soon as she finished her lunch. For the first ultrasound we waited for almost 3 hours which was nice. Nibbling on waterbiscuits whilst fantasizing about chicken korma. This time around though, the doctor, a very nice Portuguese lady but with abit of a shouty voice, told us that we would be the first on her list.
Right after her lunch. And the sudden emergency/extra pudding she had to attend to afterwards. So it was 1 hour and 45 minutes before we saw her assistant pop her head out the door and say the magic words "Khairooooooon Begoooooom!". The tell-tale sign that your name won't be pronounced correctly in a waiting room is the momentary pause beforehand as they look down at their clipboard. And then it's called out like numbers in a bingo hall. And then everyone stares at the girl with the name that sounds like a Sudanese dish. Forget the fact that I've lived in Portugal for nearly 5 years. Waiting rooms make it feel a hell of a lot longer.

Aqua Therapy

Spent the weekend out of Lisbon. It was a glorious day. We took advantage of it by going for long(ish) walks by the sea. I tried to take some decent photos but out of all the fuzzy ones this was the only one that I liked. Coming here gives shape to the day yet, each time we return to Lisbon I'm back to my befuddled self.

I have calmed down alot thankfully since my last post, though to be honest, I think it was only Mr T who exclusively bore the brunt of my drama. Mostly after work when I was 1.Hungry 2.Upset because of said hunger and 3. An unpleasant combination of both 1.and 2. topped off with tiredness.

I do appreciate the suggestions given to me, on how to take care of myself during this ginormous change in our lives. I really really do. And I confess that I have invited alot of these snippets of wisdom from mothers who know by asking for them. Though, having a facial expression remarkably similar to my students when trying to explain phrasal verbs to them certainly helped. That vacuous run that by me again would you? expression. I do the same thing when I'm hungry. Or not listening. Or watching TV commercials.

I guess it's all part of the journey. With any luck, a gorgeous, hip and happening, put-together mummy-to-be will materialise along the way.

Missy has a hissyfit

I've always considered myself to be a calm easy going kinda gal. I hate confrontations and try not to overreact on any occasion. Those who know me well enough can testify to this. I'm not a drama queen, an attention seeker or a crowd pleaser of any kind.
Being pregnant appears to have destroyed my zen-like mojo. Lately I have been abit rubbish because of all my hormones going beserk and having to deal with all the 'helpful advice' from people around me. All of a sudden my body is being subjected to nightmare birth stories, how I shouldn't reach up for objects in high places, carry shopping bags and drink water from plastic cups. I happen to have had a relatively smooth run so far; no morning sickness or overwhelming tiredness (apart from my need to sleep late, but that probably has nothing to do with my present condition; I'm just a lazy mama).So what do I get in response? "Well, wait till you get to 6 months, you'll be totally exhausted." Gee thanks for warning me. All of this is raining down on my little 'I think I'm getting the hang of this baby thing' parade. I totally understand the good intention behind it, don't get me wrong. But having an empty plastic cup torn out of my hand in shock because of the potential bacteria??? That's a whole different kettle of fish I'm dealing with here. It just scares the hell out of me and makes me feel like I'm not in control.
Sorry for the hissyfit. Missy needs a lie down and something funny to distract her.
Try this. This made me laugh so hard. Oh but wait- Is it harmful for me to laugh too much?? Bloody well hope not.

The creative craving

I've mentioned before the reasons why alot of my plans for painting have been put on the back burner. I get up sickeningly late most weekday mornings because I simply feel totally exhausted, followed by starvation of a kind that I never thought existed. Then I start a process of dithering which involves me making a mental list of things I need to do and haven't done yet, or things I think I need to do and in fact have done. I write random things for this blog, read and comment on a few others so that by midday I've got plenty of time for my routine dash to work (I'm an English teacher incidentally, although you'd probably never believe it with the amount of typos I make). Picture me searching for my house keys, checking the ovens off eventhough I didn't use it, back of my skirt still up my tights, blusher on one cheek (my face that is). Thats me. Pregnant and clearly not put together.

So help me God I will get back to the painting, if not for me, then for the sanity of my future satsuma.

Gratuitous picture alert....

The T at his glowing best

 

My favourite photo of the T ever. Period.

Look at these beauties...

My baking frenzy is, as of today, officially what I would consider to be, a product of my current glucose craving. I just can't seem to think of anything else other than what I can stick in that oven. It keeps me up at night, all the possible combinations. Mint and chocolate, raspberry and chocolate, applesauce and chocolate. Today it was a classic pairing: banana and chocolate. As I'm sitting at the dining table (which these days has had the double function of an office desk, what with random plates of buttery sweetness always an arms length away..heaven and hell wrapped in one)I am writing this post and trying not to look down at the muffin crumbs all over my 'other' muffin. Yes. THAT muffin. And with my jean buttons undone theres a whole loada self raising action going on.
I'm supposed to be doing a few more responsible things like looking up clinics in London on the net (instead of looking up muffin recipes). Our little strawberry might need to undergo some tests throughout my pregnancy. There is a history of hereditary conditions of which I don't want to go into too much detail without checking with Mr T first. As much as I want to share my thoughts and fears and muffins on this blog, I still have to get the go ahead from the T every now and then. It could be nothing. Or not. Either way, I don't want to freak out those who love us very much. I just hope we can get through it. The T (that's my new name for him now..) is my man and I have to stand by him. Through thick and thin, muffins and salads, jokes and tears,we're a dynamic duo we are.

If you go down to the woods today....

Today I decided it was best to resist the temptation of remaining in my jimjams all day, unbrushed teeth and ratty hair, scoffing down muffins I had made especially for the occasion, and willingly surrendered to a day out in the park. We had a lovely picnic in a beauty woodland area, a matter of minutes from our neighbourhood, and had shamefully ignored until today. It was a beautiful day. Mr T and I had two friends for company, Sandra and Miguel. Sandra very helpfully brought along a charming little picnic set that her mother had kept but never used. Very retro. The forks were clearly not the kind of non-degradable plastic a nuclear bomb couldnt destroy. They succumbed to the barbecued chicken breasts and broke at first impact. Mind you, I was so hungry at that point I was close to cutting right through my plate too.
Anyway, there i was, 11 weeks pregnant eating brussel sprouts and chicken with my fingers. Pregnancy turns you into a she-beast.

Ever since I found out I was with child, I've experienced the joys of simply not giviing a s**t about things that in comparison to the prospect of being a mummy, are so mediocre now. Things like how important it is to be nice. For years I've let that mundane bland word dictate how I should appear around people. Nice, non descript, unassuming, not in the slightest bit opinionated, no stepping on toes. Anything it took to avoid being judged. With impending motherhood slapping me in the face,I will be facing the prospect of being up there in the top 10 of groups in our society who are the most judged, most critiscised and most belittled: the mummy class. Being with Mr T for more than 7 years, we've travelled together, studied together, lived in all sorts of oddly shaped apartments together,eaten bad food together before settling down in Lisbon and deciding that maybe it was time to have a little kiddo together. We've done our fair share of judging too. Looking at screaming children in restaurants, writhing about in highchairs with green splodge all over their faces and thinking to ourselves, we are NEVER going to let our kids behave like that....Forgivable chit chat on the most part. But when it´s other parents who think the same thing, comparing other kids with their own, now THAT is a universe I do not want to get sucked into. I know I'll have to accept that some parents will judge. Well meaning or otherwise.The very people who you want cheering you on reassuringly, patting you on the back, instead are gonna be the haters, the starers, the opinion makers.
I have to just stock up on my supplies of I don't give a s++t pills, and go easy on the nice. Practice my What are YOU looking at stare. Save the nice for little old ladies, kids with cute outfits, and our Ukrainian housekeeper Maria.
Everyone should have a housekeeper. Even if you can't afford one. Like us.

Done in the name of love....

Chocolate chip muffins...my first ever baking experiment.Mr T left stayed well clear, although he did wonder whether I would make it out of the kitchen in one piece or not. It was a nice change to have our home smelling so sweet and chocolatey. I feel like a baking goddess. In pyjamas and unbrushed teeth.
All part of my current nesting mood.

a

 

It's nice..

...to be beside the seaside

To pass the time...

A list.
As my waistline slowly disappears, here are a few things I plan to do:

1.Start reading a multiple number of novels.
2.Start crocheting again
3.Start a collection of childrens books for our peanuts very own library
4.Start a new painting project.
5.Study Portuguese grammar
6.Bake cakes
7.Watch lots of movies
8.Start some prenatal yoga exercises
9.Keep a beautiful journal
10.Learn some card games

All in the name of happiness.

Philadelphia cheese and bananas...mmmmmm

ok ok, im going to say what i'm sure i've made quite insanely obvious due to the last couple of posts. I'm 9 weeks pregnant!
We are both absolutely overjoyed, deliriously happy and just grateful. I haven't given the good news to my family yet and they certainly won't be hearing of it through this blog since they don't even know I have a blog! I'll wait a little longer before I tell them.
We had our first scan last week. We heard our little peanuts heart beating away. It was lovely and a relief too. If only I hadn't had a miniature hormonal breakdown wiTH Mr T a few minutes beforehand. I hadn't eaten anything, we had been waiting for what felt like an eternity, and poor Mr T bore the brunt of my wibbly wobbly mood. Sorry Mr T! (ive already apologised but thought I should do it again anyway)
So this, is the reason for my brain freeze. Pregnancy has taken over. I'm eating like somebody who is on the brink of death from starvation. But I have no morning sickness major enough to complain of. I had a few days where I ran like the roadrunner to the bathroom. Glad those days are behind me.
So for the time being, this blog will be a 7 month countdown along with the intermittent artwork, which is of course the central point to having this blog in the first place. But for now, its motherhood all the way!

A little time to think things over..

It's been a tad quiet around here because I haven't had much inspiration to draw and paint. To be honest, i've been ignoring this blog for a while. But for an extremely good reason!I thought I should fess up since I didn't want to keep hiding behind youtube videos. Anyway, I do not intend to abandon the blog and my artistic adventures. I may have forgotten a little of what its like to feel so creative and alive with ideas,in fact Ive forgotten what its like to have a fully functioning brain but it will all come back to me eventually. Just a question of time.

Note to Mr T: Thankyou for the weekend supply of yummy mushroom risotto! You'd do Jamie Oliver proud (although, your wifes approval is byfar the greatest source of satisfaction, naturally). Nothing beats good food and a whole lotta lurrrvve.

Her Morning Elegance / Oren Lavie

My new work space

Here it is the elephant-sized coffeetable in my studio. I look very productive don't I? Perhaps this time I'll start being it too.