A new year is approaching

I'm feeling alittle overwhelmed by the number of tasks I've set myself. I haven't been creatively productive at all over the last few weeks or so, and I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself as the annual flu, Christmas period,and the penny counting that came with it have all been a serious distraction.
I had a muslim upbringing so Christmas trees and turkeys were something I only saw on T.V or heard my friends talk about in the weeks leading up to the holidays. Now though, having married a man who has countless childhood memories centred around Christmas trees and the endless supply of socks from his grandparents, I know that this will be a part of my life and our future familys life. This year I had a small get together with Mr T's brother, his wife and their adorable children. Spending time with his side of the family is really meaningful to me as it gives me the chance to make connections with not just his family but another way of life totally different to what I had. And being away from my own at this time of the year can be hard. There may not have been a christmas tree but it was a holiday nevertheless and I have lots of fond memories of being at home with my brothers and sisters watching the Queens speech or 'The Snowman' which was a lovely animated childrens story.
I hope that for 2009 I can stay on board creatively. I plan on reading alot more, and scheduling more time to spend it in my studio without the usual technological distractions. I want to find a balance between my love of writing and drawing. I've always wanted to do illustrations of poems or stories, so let's see what I can come up with.

Over the last six months I've learnt to shut out or at least switch off whenever I sense too many negative vibes around me. At times it's worse when the negativity comes from me and then there are times when its the opinions of others that can throw me off. I find that negativity overall can be quite unnerving and mentally draining. It can rear its ugly head in the most unassuming of situations. For me almost any conversation where opinions about another person are exchanged is a negative experience for me. Because I think about how I would feel if my life was being 'discussed' by people who clearly don't know anything about me. Pretty damn angry of course. Then there are the opinions indirect or otherwise, on how you choose to live your life. It distracts me and makes the critical side of me voice itself much clearer. You think you're really clever Khairun, you need to live in the real world, you want to be perfect but who are you trying to convince?Having support and encouragement can be quite hard to come by, especially when we live in an age where it's often considered unrealistic to be optimistic, and when everyday worries cloud a well-judged approach to lifes obstacles. I find myself getting dragged down by it. But luckily for me it only takes a word of encouragement from Mr T or from a dear friend and I pick myself up again. Why shouldn't I want to feel amazing and fabulous? What's wrong with wanting to harbour positive feelings through the right people environment and attitude? As you can see I don't like to let the critical side of me hang around uninvited for too long.

So to all the lovely people out there who have a soft spot for optimism and all round cheefulness, I wish you nothing but great things for 2009.

Sick as a parrot

I have been lumbered with this horrid cold, its abit like being shackled by a ball and chain. I have no energy and my dreams of domestic bliss are flying away. The kitchens a mess! So Ive been seeking refuge in our bedroom, with my laptop, lemon tea and plenty of hankies by my side. In the meantime, let me take this opportunity to wish you all a lovely christmas! Lots of festive fun for all, and in my case, lots of festive sneezing!

The Belêm Botanical Gardens

I've taken a couple of days off work. We were originally supposed to spend three days in Brussels with friends of Mr T. But our hopes were dashed when the special flight prices being offered at Ryannair doubled. I guess it was all too special to be true. A good festive bargain turned into a "Bah-Humbug!" moment. Anyway, we decided to spend it by doing absolutely nothing. Just late morning tea and toast, our first sip of mocha latte at the new Starbucks close to our neighbourhood (I know..shame on me, I shall do the necessary penitence by drinking lots of coffee in a little place on top of a mountain somewhere with goats and some nice old ladies..)and a stroll in the botanical gardens in Belêm. It was lovely.

( as a result of all that fresh breeze as I pranced about in the gardens without wearing a scarf, I woke up with a stinking cold..."Bah-Humbug!")

Out with the straighteners and in with the curls!

Well I haven't quite thrown them out. I've just tucked them away in a place where I can't see them.
It's my little sisters birthday today (Happy 24th Birthday!). As I'm writing this, she's probably in the throes of severe jetlag. This time yesterday she was in a little village in Bangladesh spending time with my parents and my grandmother. My dear granny has never left the village let alone the country and my parents, who are both retired, spend half the year out there and the other half at home in North London. I wish I had gone along with my sis; the last time I went there and saw my granny was a whopping 10 years ago. You know,life has a not-so-funny way of flying by with all sorts of distractions, obstacles and excuses.

So this is a much needed note to self:make more time for family! Since I have a sister in Florida; a brother in Abu Dhabi; my grandmother in Bangladesh and cousins in Canada; I have lots of beautiful places to visit and not a single dodgy hotel to whinge about

I've noticed There are things about me I haven't talked about on this blog (except my penchant for hair destroying straightening irons) and since I still haven't got my doll ready for its big reveal, why not do a list of Khairun facts? I love reading the lists of other bloggers so I'm going to join the parade.

1. I am extremely shy
2. I have a habit of saying "really?".
3. Half way through a conversation with more than one person I display my extraordinary listening skills by saying; "Sorry-what was that?".
4. I get easily distracted. By everything. As shown in 3. And as shown by making lists for no particular reason.
5. I like writing but my punctuation is lousy. I'm working on it though.
6. I have used eyeliner since I was about 14. It has got to the point where people don't recognise me if I dont use it, which is abit scary.
7. I like dangly earrings and romantic dresses.
8. I like tea. Even if the world is falling apart around me, the kettle's on.
9. I'm generally a very optimistic person but I don't like to be preachy about this.
10. I love learning. In fact knowing me, I'll probably go back to university again to do a Masters in Creative Writing, or Art, or Philosophy.....
11. I have never been clear about a suitable career path(10.)so I just follow all of them.
12. Negative people make me feel ill.
13. I don't like bitchiness. I went to a girls school, so I learnt alllll about this terrible habit that unfortunatly resides amongst us ladyfolk.

Thats it! I hope you enjoyed reading this list as much as I did in distracting myself doing it! I would love to hear about your lists too. Or just abit about you in regular normal sentences.

ciao ciao :)

An open confession

to my all round wierdness. A cow growing out of a girls head (inspired by the story of a girl who is turned into one in Metamorphoses...) and another one that has yet to be hit with my wierdness stick. All of the portraits so far have different sized noses and lips, some of them have a larger set of eyes than others. But I am trying to have a similar set of facial features throughout all my portraits. Tricky to say the least. But anyway, they're not that wierd are they?
As for the big reveal of my first ever doll. I just think its enough weirdness for one post. It still needs abit of tweaking here and there.
I will try and post abit more. I am currently distracted by downloading songs onto my ipod, making packed lunches for work, doing pre-Christmas push ups in the morning, and attempting to curl my hair.
Hope youre all enjoying the mad last minute rush to buy Christmas presents for people you dont know much about. lol

tata for now (or at least for another few days)

Emiliana Torrini - Heartstopper

This is a beautiful song. Perfect soundtrack to rainy days, cold nights mixed in with a hint of sunshine and daydreaming.

another week goes by...

These days I have not been able to write on my blog more than I should. But I have a very nice surprise in store; my very first doll! After having discovered the English manual instructions to my Singer sewing machine, I got busy over the weekend, making alot of mistakes along the way of course. It was all abit of a revelation to be honest. Me with a sewing machine. Who would have thought?
Never too late to learn, thats my motto.

I will post a picture of the doll once I get round to it. Along with a few more of my visual creations.

(I'd better get back to work now, naughty Khairun is writing this when she should be planning her classes which is what any respectable teacher should do...)

tata for now!

Some drawings ..as promised

With plenty of biros, marker pens and pencils at my disposal,and an ongoing supply of tea and Sunday afternoon movies, I managed to come up with some new ideas including treehouses that have expanded into a tree neighbourhood, and portraits of girls inspired by the stories of Metamorphoses. What do you think?

One can never have enough of bechamel

and cannelonni ..how many n's weren't i supposed to use in that word?
The list of things I can rustle up in the kitchen without setting fire to myself is quite a short one (though thankfully, when I mean setting fire to myself I mean the an unhappy finger or two and Mr T sporting his classic 'I told you so' look) I am proud to say that this is a new addition to my list. The filling was cauliflower and broccolli. Filled us up so much Mr T wouldnt have guessed it was...cough coughvegetarian. I have to say this word quietly around here because the Portuguese folk think it's practically a curse. Go to any restaurant and if you ask for a green salad, most waiters look at you like youre speaking Icelandic. Or they swing little objects in your face whilst chanting things from a book. But if you ask for the classic 'bitoque'(which is basically steak with a fried egg on top and french fries) they look at you oh so lovingly.
I love food. It's something I always take time to eat. My problem is to take time to do it. Mr T is a bit of cooking wizard. Thank God I married a wizard. Otherwise I'd be living on sandwiches with strange fillings for the rest of my life. He loves his food and he likes to invent interesting dishes himself because he has an intense dislike of recipe books. Well,in my book, I don't think theres anything wrong with enjoying comfort food and I don't just mean junk food here. Its the food that makes your kitchen smell lovely and your belly warm. Its the food you share with your friends, family, or on your own as you watch a good film. And the best thing about comfort food is the comfort of having your food cooked for you too. Yes darling I'm talking about you.
I will be back on drawing track soon. Promise. I will.

Doing nothing is my middle name

What have I been doing today? Sitting in front of my laptop with yarn all over the place, a missing crochet hook (I bet it fell into a sofa nook somewhere..) and a belly full of sour strawberry candies. And I'm already fantasising about some of that vanilla icecream with the fresh raspberries I got this morning at the local supermarket. I've had the telly on all day eventhough I'm not really watching it. Except when Oprah comes on. Tonights show is about compulsive hoarders. Suddenly the strawberry candy consumption, the piles of dirty dishes in the sink and the clothes that are waiting ever so patiently to be washed, are freaking me out. Everytime I watch Oprah I want to get up and organise myself.
I'm a major slob. But it doesn't really get to me too much because theres always something that distracts me from dwelling on it, like strawberry candies, crochet flowers,the sewing box that was handed down to Mr T from his mother and now its in my studio waiting to be introduced to my sewing machine, and laughing at Mr T whenever he says 'cinanon' instead of cinammon. I know I could be more organised and I know that some of the veg in our fridge are moments away from the veg cemetery, I know that I could have painted more but I did'nt because my mind is still full of things that don't quite fit together, I know that I could have finished off a couple of pieces that have been ignored for months and collecting dust as a result.
Instead I drank tea. I crocheted. I embraced my husband.I thought about the time when we tried to take a photograph of the two of us infront of a sunset. And I wrote this.
Makes me proud of my middle name.

Baby's got the blues....

Guess what I did this fine Sunday morning? I can't seem to stop crocheting! I think it's too cute for a batty old woman like me. At least the respectable shade of blue keeps the girliness in check.

It was a cold lonely night..

 

when all of a sudden, a purple blob landed on my head. I have since been prancing around the house with it like a flapper girl.And above this post (there it is!) is a picture of the aforementioned purple blob. But I like it. Messy hair (and impending conjunctivitus in right eye) included.

Heres how the experts do it.

My recent purple blob was inspired by the blog CreativeYarn Heres a picture of what it should look like:

A picture is worth a thousand words

and more if you can take ones as beautiful as these. My friend Vania took these as part of her work as a designer. The pictures of children were taken whilst working on a creative project with AMI in Mozambique, and the others were taken in the north of Portugal. Shes a great photographer as you can see and I was really moved by these images. Have a look at her blog here, for more and you can also get to see her design work for Amnesty International

Day at the beach

Hope you had a lovely weekend! I spent mine out of Lisbon, therefore very far away from my laptop too. So there hasn't been much blogging of late. I've been thinking about what my handmade Christmas gifts will be,who I'll give them to, and whether I can do them well (so far I have crocheted a hat that didnt fit Mr T's neice, and the body parts of a donkey.....don't ask) Next month I'm going to spend abit more time painting rather than crocheting scary lumpy matter. I may also do another giveaway too. yeahhh!

 

Hope

The things that make me wonder...

I wonder a lot. I wonder what makes us snap at each other for no apparent reason. I wonder what makes us cry and what makes us feel abandoned. I wonder why we go at great lengths to defend our own weaknesses.
I had a pretty tough week where I found myself questioning a part of myself that I had always thought was the essence of me, the part of me that speaks louder than my words. The childlike need to be liked has always stayed with me. Perhaps thats why my closest friends tell me i have a childlike quality. I take this as a compliment of course, I love to learn and discover, laugh and tease. But there is a side to it that I shouldnt be carrying around with me, nor should it be resonating through my everyday interaction with others. And that is the need to be liked. How have I discovered this? I simply saw it in another person. A wonderful person but in her I see a part of what I have been doing and have been unable to control. Ill give an example; when a person is rude to me, or unnecessarily abrupt, whether it be a person who barely knows me, or one of my closest friends who is merely having a bad day, or a person who believes they are 'doing nothing wrong', I never defend my feelings and instead defend theirs. I wonder what made them say that, rather than wondering why I should have to put up with that. I wonder what I did to make them say that rather than wondering what made them behave like that towards me. I go away with that awful question Why did I just let that happen to me? This week was a tough week because it was a great week. I stood up for myself, it was hard and I didnt like the feeling of speaking back, of not apologising, of not saying no. I didnt like the feeling of doing something that was not in my nature. Ive always held the notion that when you speak back youre just as bad as each other. But what I didnt know is that not wanting to make a fuss is a zillion times worse. It's heaven for procrastinators.But its hell for me because it means staring into space during conversations with Mr T (procrastinators do not know how to listen) and sleepless nights ( and they dont know how to switch off).

I have found a peace inside myself which lets me live in a foreign country without the fear of not making many friends here. I can spend lots of time working away on this blog, reading,painting, calling up my sister or my best friend to catch up on life in London, being with my husband and teaching students who appreciate what I do for them (when I'm not staring into space, that is). I used to hate being alone. Could never imagine living alone or being away from friends and family. But I have connected with them much more by not depending on their presence. I have finally mastered the art of liking myself. I realise who are important enough in my life to spend time with, protect and support but now it includes me. And besides, I havent got much time to work on being liked. Im too busy crocheting pink bows.

Every girl needs a pink bow

I could not have done this without the help of the lovely blog Creative Yarn I still took far longer than the average crocheting human being but with some rather hefty sewing, I managed to make it look like a neat little bow in the end. Just don't look at it too close. Please. I shall put a safety pin at the back and give it to Mr Ts little neice. Theres no fear of this not fitting this time like the bracelet.

A starry night

On Wednesday night I was three rows away from this mans magnetic performance with the Count Basie Orchestra. He is Carlos do Carmo, one of Portugals most loved and respected singers. He was possessed by Sinatra that night. A spine tingling performance. There were other Portuguese singers too, like the fantastic Manuela Azvedo and Maria João who both blew me away and the fado singer Camane who managed to overcome his nerves with a stellar performance too. Its not often that you see singers going out of their familiar musical style. It took courage but it also showed how tenacious they all were. And I loved the idea of merging styles. I felt so privelaged to be a breath away from wonderful voices and wonderful music.Mr T managed to pull off one of the best show to date. I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am to be married to a man who takes risks, doesn't listen to the cynics, and just follows his passion which is good old fashioned music. He inspires me to no end. As soon as the weekend arrived he started playing My Funny Valentine over and over whilst I destroyed the lyrics by attempting to sing as he tinkered away. He told me to stick to my day job. Good advice.

Cathy Cullis

I am completely in love with this piece. This is a unique piece of jewelry made by the mixed media artist and poet Cathy Cullis. She has created an ingenious way of combining both writing and visual craft into a wearable form of artwork. Effortlessly clever, achingly beautiful..but instead of tiring you with my adverb abuse, I'll just let you have a look at it.

For more beauties like this, have a little stroll in her etsy shop and blog.

Did I mention my fascination for painting boxes?

Over the summer, I discovered a fantastic arts and craft shop where they sold plain wooden boxes in lots of enticing shapes and sizes. I bought this one with the intention of painting it. I subsequently stared at it most mornings as it collected dust, conjuring up intricate designs that I would have to sit down and do, WITHOUT distractions (youtube...you evil thing you..) So today was the day! No distractions. I painted the floral design using acrylics and I still need to decide what I'm going to do for the sides. The design was inspired by a greetings card from the fantastic blog Print and Pattern.

I finished something!

In case you were wondering, those are her wings so that she can fly off to wherever she pleases! I took the shot at a time of the day when my studio gets alot of sunlight. Thats why there are all those floating orbs in front of the picture. I must get curtains because it does start getting hot and I always have to take my laptop away from dreaded sunny spots.

Current distraction from blogging: myself and this rather dashing looking bloke

The man I am well and truly married to of course! Well, ever heard of a saying that goes 'we are our own enemies'?. I've been at it again you see: starting too many projects and not completing them, and I haven't stopped there either. I like to make things that little bit more complicated in true Khairun style, by hoarding on ideas from the dreaded weekend blogging splurge. I go from crochet to applique, applique to watercolours, writing poetry to crochet again. Was that applique I just mentioned? Yes my friends, applique so I'm also looking longingly at things that I have no clue in doing whatsoever. Creative overload.
In addition to all this madness thats currently residing within the deep recesses of my brain, Mr T is also on edge as he has a huge concert coming up; The Count Basie Orchestra no less. They're performing alongside some of the best Portuguese singers for an unforgettable show next week. With the two of us like this, we're just no good to each other. I'm at it like a madwoman with my crocheting and he's got two phones plastered to his ears and a laptop that may as well be a third arm. No relaxing weekend for him the poor thing.
I just thank the heavens above that he has limitless amounts of patience. That's just what a crazy woman like me needs.

a little black number

Heres another one in black, with a little pink rose. I'm starting to get the hang of it now. Mr T took this rather thoughtful shot of us hand in hand as we went for our Sunday walk downtown. We're the sort of couple that indulges too much in comforting things. This morning for instance,we watched four episodes of The Sopranoes back to back. We really need to go out abit more.

Hope you like it. I'm going to do a couple more for the friends who fully support my old fashioned tendencies.

 

 

The city of lace and tiles

 

This took me HOURS....

but it was after all, my first stab at crochet. Not only was it time consuming (I was following an instructional video on youtube) but with so much concentration going on I practically turned into a mute.Now all I keep hearing in my head is 'chainstitch 5, yarn over, double crochet....'
This dainty little prom style corsage did not fit the equally dainty wrist of my 5 year old neice! I have to find a 2 year old or even younger to see if it fits them instead. But if I don't want to scare little girls with my crochet induced mute madness, I could just make it longer and give it back to my neice.

 

and the winner is...

Monica! I am thrilled that my piece will start its new life in Alentejo, and with a crochet extraodinaire too. Just send me an email with your contact details at khairunsmoon@gmail.com and it will be heading your way!
With all the inspiration and positive energy that the last two weeks have given me, here's a sneak picture of what I'm working on at the moment.
I've also made a crochet bracelet! It turned out a little shorter than I expected so it's going to be for Mr Ts darling 5 year old neice. I just have to snatch her away from her busy schedule(ballet,swimming,cello!) to be my very first 'hand model'. I just hope it fits her! It took me ages! And I hope she doesn't expect me to pay her either!

 

A big thanks for all those who participated in my giveaway.
Knowing me, I'm sure it won't be the last!

Baguette anyone?

Picture me wearing oversized sunglasses, heels and a black shift dress Hepburn style, with Mr T sporting a tortured artist beard (abit like Goerge Clooney but with a major career change) and a tattered book of Baudelaires poems in one hand, walking down the streets of Paris. That's where I am right now as I listen to this divine duet between Juliette Greco and Feist. I'm going through some major Parisian mind control so a song like this makes sense to me whilst Mr T has to shake my shoulders crying "Khairun don't listen to the voices! You are not French, do you hear me??"
Putting my insanity aside for a moment, Mr T does his best to bring musicians like these to Portugal. For the past four years he has introduced me to a whole gamut of sounds as lovely as these. Juliette Greco will be playing on October 14th at Casa de Musica OPorto and October 16th at CCB in Belêm. I wish Mr T the best of luck with this French catch (don't get any french ideas Mr T!)

Have a lovely weekend

but don't forget to stop by. You never know, it could be your lucky day! I think I have never had this much fun giving something away just for the hell of it. The comments have been a real boost to my confidence, and I'm sure this won't be the last of them!
Tomorrows the last day to post comments. Good luck!

 

On My Way

I discovered this on Sofia Barãos blog
Its such a comforting song. And it comes just in time for my seasonal depression (in other words not wanting to drag myself out of bed because my feet are cold) a loving balm for the soul. I like their cute french accents too.




Embarassing note: Did I say Monday the 12th for the final day of the giveaway?? I meant Sunday people. SUNDAY. And I will announce the winner on Monday.
Sorry about that. My mind works in mysterious ways.

Pink and Purple

Heres a little sketch I made this morning. I think Im going to give it to a friend of mine. A playful and pretty picture which I enjoyed doing. I got to make use of my felt tip pens too, something that takes me back to my school days.

Oh and my camera and I have made up. Woohooh!